Reading From Fear to Love: Your Guide to a Fearless Magical Birth by Red Miller feels like a cross between a conversation with a wise friend and a big, timely hug. The author demystifies many ideas that I’ve thought to be true of motherhood and pregnancy—little anecdotes from friends, family, and the Internet that have stuck over time.
The biggest gift that I’ve received reading this book is that of ownership. Perhaps it’s in the arsenal of tools that prepares readers for the journey of motherhood. Or maybe it’s the radiating positivity of mothers who enjoy the fruit of their labour (read: choosing to be responsible for their birth stories instead of simply relying on the medical system) that’s been so inspiring. For me, what’s certain is this new and fast-growing sense of maternal pride that wells up as I read on.
Red Miller sheds light on the power of the woman who allows herself the space to drop into her intuition, and shows us how, across the ages, mothers have always had everything that we need to give birth—and similarly, that babies know how to birth themselves! It is incredible how mothers have this tremendous potential that can so easily go untapped. Coupled with practical tips for pregnancy and the transition to life outside the womb, From Fear to Love cultivates a deep sense of ownership and empowerment within the reader.
Going through the book, I was inspired to research certain points to educate myself further: topics like hypnobirthing, optimal fetal position, and consequently, things that I can do to help facilitate smooth delivery.
“You are legally able to accept or decline any procedures offered to you except in genuine emergency.” This line from the book is so powerful. Growing up with good healthcare in Singapore has led me to become quite complacent. Prior to reading this book, I’d always taken healthcare for granted and in so doing, unwittingly gave the medical system autonomy to write my birth story. From Fear to Love illustrates how pregnancy is a natural event and a part of life’s journey, dispelling any doubt that it could be a handicap or condition. It shows how the birthing journey is not something to be feared—or taken lightly—but rather, a process that is special and worth getting excited about.
Going through this book real-time as my baby belly grows has been so helpful in my understanding of all the physical and mental changes that have been happening. I’m learning to sit with myself through periods of discomfort and study the root of these changes. Rather than simply being a follower, I’m learning how to lead the process and adjust my mindset so that I can be in the driver’s seat; rewiring my mind to recognise what is ‘normal’ and ‘natural’, instead of falling victim to measures that have become so commonplace that they are often thought to be the standard. The icing on the cake is chapter 18, which speaks to my partner and helps to ease him in on this journey!
From Fear to Love has been a treasure chest of information that has empowered me, a mum-to-be, with the knowledge and confidence to make more informed decisions—for this, I am so grateful.
